Enduring (Valos of Sonhadra Book 8) Read online

  The frobi approached my hand, eyed me suspiciously one more time then lunged for the berries. His small mouth tickled my palm when he plucked every last one out of my hand.

  When he was done, he just stood there, all nine eyes staring at me expectantly. I noticed that they all blinked independently, making them look like they appeared and disappeared from his fuzzy face, hiding behind the thin purple eyelids one or two at a time.

  ‘Food?’ His squeak was filled with hope, all fear and aggression forgotten.

  “Come here,” I said in English, confident that he would understand it just as poorly as the valo language. I took him in my hands and lifted him to my chest.

  ‘Stay away!’ He protested at first, but I whistled ‘Food’ a few times and took out some more berries from the bag for him. He ate them sitting on my arm at my chest, visibly calm now.

  “I want to take him home, Rock.”

  “Frobi aren’t good to eat. There’s hardly any meat on them—” he started.

  “I’m not planning to eat him!” I pressed the furry critter to my chest, and he growled comically in response.

  “Why then?” Rock looked genuinely confused.

  “Why did you bring me home that day? Did you plan to skin and eat me?”

  “It’s not the same, Zoya. You looked beautiful, exotic but so much like us at the same time. I hoped. I sensed that you were more than an animal, that you could be our friend and companion one day. Maybe more.”

  “Well, I’m going to need a companion too,” I snapped.

  I was not angry at him. I was angry at the world. I was furious at the ill fate that was going to take him away from me so soon. I was mad at life for teasing me with happiness only to deprive me of it once again.

  “I may be left alone again. Apparently, sooner than I’d realized,” I said softly and pressed the lilac fur ball to my chest tenderly.

  I WALKED ON MY OWN as much as I could but still ended up having Rock carry me the last couple of kilometers to the cave. He quickly shifted into his fighting form to do so. He claimed he could move faster this way. He then lifted me up to his shoulders, and I hugged the solid rock of his hard round head, swaying gently with each step as his long, massive legs ate up the remaining distance separating us from home.

  After stuffing his belly with berries, the frobi seemed to be content to curl up in the bend of my arm. His tails wound around my wrist and forearm to hold him in place as he dozed off, all of his eyes firmly closed.

  The sun was mostly behind the mountains by the time we approached our cave, but there was enough light left for me to see Vlunn’s shape at the entrance. He was waiting for our return.

  “Vlunn.” I slid down Rock’s body, without waiting for him to shift, to lower me down, or even to stop.

  The frobi tumbled from my arm and hung off Rock’s neck suspended by a few of his furry tails, loudly protesting the rude awakening.

  I ran up the mountain with as much speed as I could muster, sliding on the rocky ground.

  “Vlunn,” I exhaled when he pulled me over the edge of the platform and into his arms.

  “Did you miss me that much?” The smile in his voice only made me want to bawl my eyes out all over again. “Or did Rock bore you to tears all day?”

  I shook my head and squished my face against his chest plates.

  “I told her.” Rock’s somber voice came from behind me, and I felt Vlunn’s arms tighten around me.

  “Why?”

  “Because he had to. Because I needed to know.” I lifted my face up. “I—I . . . Vlunn.” I sniffled and pressed my forehead into his chest again.

  I can’t believe it. I don’t know how to deal with it. I wish I had died in the crash. Anything but losing you!

  Those were the thoughts of pain and despair that Vlunn didn’t need to hear from me right now. So, I swallowed my sobs and tried to get a grip of my emotions the best I could.

  “Let me make you dinner, honey.” I cupped his face, peering into the beloved gold of his eyes, and forced my voice to sound as calm as possible, even as my whole body shook. “And then I can’t wait to show you everything we found in the forest today.”

  Chapter 20

  We had dinner in utter silence. This time it was I more than the valos who sought physical contact. Subconsciously, I felt that if I held tight enough, they would stay. If I held their hands, touched their thighs, and felt their warmth against me at all times, I would be able to hang on to them for eternity.

  “How are you feeling?” I asked when Rock entered the cave after yet another one of his short trips outside this evening. All the plant food he had tasted for me caused indigestion and wrecked havoc on his internal systems.

  Only after nothing more serious or unexpected had manifested itself in him, Rock allowed me to take one bite of each plant we brought back, promising to let me have more if I felt fine in the morning.

  The gleruesta tree proved to be worth its delicious smell. The taste and the texture were very close to those of a piece of a sponge cake soaked in red currant jelly. Except that now I couldn’t fully appreciate any of it. My mind was not in the right place for it at all.

  “I’m fine. It has finally stopped,” he grumbled.

  “I’m so sorry, Rock.”

  “Better me than you,” he shrugged, very matter-of-fact, as if it was absolutely normal for him to put his wellbeing on the line for me, and for me to simply accept it. My heart filled with gratitude and appreciation for having him in my life.

  For now.

  A sharp stab of pain pierced my heart again at the reminder of what was to come.

  “Thank you,” I whispered and kissed his shoulder when he sat next to me. I closed my eyes and pressed my forehead to his bicep as my fingers found Vlunn’s hand on my other side. How was I supposed to simply let them go? The overwhelming sadness inside of me gave way to denial yet again.

  “How were your heartstones supposed to be activated?” I asked.

  “Zoya,” Rock exhaled and shook his head.

  Vlunn squeezed my hand in his before lifting me up and placing me in his lap. I immediately wrapped my arms around his neck and leaned into his chest.

  “Your mates were supposed to be women, right?” I rushed to explain. “I’m not a valo, but I am a woman. Maybe I could try?”

  “You did try.” Rock leaned forward on his elbows, staring into the fire.

  “You couldn’t remove the heartstone, Zoya.” Vlunn’s hand stroked my hair.

  “Let’s try again. I’ll carve that thing out! We have tools—” I remembered their disappointment at my failure to remove the crystal from Rock’s chest, and now I felt it much more acutely too.

  “Carving it out would accomplish nothing. A true mate would remove it effortlessly.” Vlunn continued stroking my hair. “Ilena planned to make a mate for each of us. We would have been meant for each other from the moment of their creation, and their blood would’ve sealed the bond that would have already existed between us.”

  I was only half-listening, my thoughts rushing ahead and spinning in circles.

  “There should be some other way to activate the heartstones. You said you have formed a bond between the two of you, right? Can you remove each other’s heartstone?”

  Rock only shook his head again in silence.

  “We have tried. Many others before us did too. It doesn’t work. It was not how Ilena intended it.”

  Vlunn pressed me closer to him and nuzzled my hair soothingly. His endless patience and quiet acceptance of the terrible fate facing him brought tears to my eyes. He didn’t deserve it. Rock didn’t deserve it.

  So unfair!

  “Our mates were supposed to be women,” Rock added.

  “I’m a woman!” I realized that my last argument brought the conversation to its beginning again, making a complete circle, but desperation deprived me of reasoning.

  Rock turned to face me, meeting my gaze head on. “Yes, you are. You are a beautiful, kind, cari
ng woman, Zoya. You may not realize it, but you have given us more than any Stone Valo ever experienced. During the short time we had together, you made our lives complete. When we go, we’ll be taking to the mountain the memories of you. It’s the treasure no one else of our kind had. You shouldn’t be concerned about us. You are the one staying behind.” Rock’s voice vibrated with emotion, and Vlunn’s arms tightened around me again, making it hard to breathe.

  “You will have to keep on living, Zoya,” Vlunn whispered in my hair.

  “Without you?” I exhaled barely audible, tears spilling hot down my cheeks.

  “Tomorrow we’re going back to the forest to dig out the plants that have proved safe for you to eat.” Rock’s voice was firm now, not allowing for any arguments. “We’ll plant them in the garden. Then, I will teach you how to track animals and how to hunt, how to butcher the prey and how to preserve meat. I will teach you everything I know about the life on Sonhadra. I’ll give you the skills to survive on your own. And you will keep on living, Zoya.”

  This was more than a concern for me. This was Rock’s legacy to make sure I made it after they were gone. I couldn’t stand thinking about being left behind, but I understood his own desperation, his burning desire to make sure I was going to make it without them.

  I nodded, giving him my promise, and he enclosed both Vlunn and I into his big arms. I let myself cry freely now, sobbing into Vlunn’s chest, as they both held me.

  Stone Valos couldn’t cry. Instead they guarded me, holding me between them, somber and stoic sentinels of my tears.

  Chapter 21

  “We did good today. The garden looks much better already.” Rock’s fingers raked through my hair with slow, soothing consistency. “Tomorrow, I’ll go hunting alone to bring enough meat for drying, while you finish planting whatever is left.”

  He sat by the fire, and I lay on the furs next to him, my head in his lap. Across from us, Vlunn stitched several hides of smaller animals together, making another blanket.

  The frobi, unused to being handled by people or valos, scurried to the far corner of my bed for a nap. He wrapped all his tails tightly around his small body and looked exactly like a ball of fuzzy wool. All that was missing to complete the illusion was a pair of knitting needles next to him.

  “After that, we’ll go back to the forest together again. I’ll show you how to set up traps, and we can bring more berry bushes. They seem to do really well in here.”

  “Cyglua bushes grow well everywhere,” Vlunn joined in, without taking his eyes off his work. “And their leaves must taste sweet, I’ve seen deh eat them too. You like sweet, don’t you, Zoya? Just make sure Rock does a thorough taste test for you first.”

  I couldn’t see Vlunn’s eyes, but I knew from his voice that the teasing gold sparks of humor must be bouncing all over his expression at that moment.

  “There’re plenty of edible plants in the woods. They don’t need to be sweet to be acceptable,” muttered a sullen Rock, making me smile.

  I loved spending the evening with them, just like this, like the family we had become.

  The two had been adamant that there was nothing anyone could do about what was to come, and we had all silently agreed not to talk about it. But even if it wasn’t spoken of, a dark cloud of doom surrounded us, suffocating me with the inevitable. All I wanted to do was to enjoy this moment and to forget, if just for a little while, that all of this would soon be gone.

  I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, clearing my mind of everything except for the beloved voices of my men. The low rumble and the rolling intonation of their words sounded like smooth, round rocks rushing in avalanche down the side of a mountain—powerful, yet comforting to me in their strength.

  I could listen to them forever, talking about anything—Rock telling stories of his adventures in the woods, desert, or up the mountain. Vlunn teasing and Rock shooting grumpy retorts back in fun.

  My eyes remained closed, as I allowed myself to be lulled into a dreamy state of bliss by the sound of their voices. Rock’s hand left my hair at some point and caressed my shoulder, pushing the fabric of the tunic aside. Without making a pause in his conversation with Vlunn, he slid his hand further inside my tunic and found my breast.

  I inhaled deeply, welcoming the sensation of his warm rough skin on mine. I’d always loved the feeling, but lately I couldn’t get enough of the closeness between us.

  The sleepy haze deserted me the minute his fingers plucked my nipple. Squeezing it ever so gently, he pulled at it then let it go, then repeated the action.

  I wondered if he was fully aware of what he was doing or of what his manipulations were beginning to do to me. He seemed to be still completely engrossed into his conversation with Vlunn, the course of which I had abandoned following by now.

  With my eyes firmly shut, all my senses tuned in on the rasping touch of the rough skin of his hand kneading my breast. The hot slow stream of arousal coursed through me from my nipple, which was gently but firmly pressed between the calloused cushions of his thumb and his finger. The sensations languidly spread from that one tiny epicenter of touch, slowly engulfing the rest of my body in sweet, liquid heat.

  His hand squeezed my breast again, his fingers pulled at the nipple, rolled it, pinched it, sending more sparks down through my lower belly. My breath grew heavier, and I couldn’t lie still any longer. I arched my back, stretching head to toe, and stifled a moan.

  Rock’s pace didn’t change. Agonizingly slow, he continued to play with my nipple, torturing me with the increasing need for more. But everything around me suddenly felt different. Another moan escaped my parted lips, and I realized it was the only sound in the cave. Their conversation had stopped.

  I opened my eyes to meet Vlunn’s citrine ones firmly glued to Rock’s hand, moving under my clothes. The furs in his lap bulged, pushed up by his straining erection underneath. The heated intensity on his face sent another liquid charge of heat between my legs as the throbbing pressure there intensified.

  “More ...” I pleaded with him in a hoarse whisper. “I need more, Vlunn.”

  His gaze shot to my face briefly just as he rose to his feet and stepped over the fire to get to me.

  Rock pulled his hand out to untie the knot in front of my tunic only to rip it off in his haste. He yanked the fabric off my shoulders, letting my breasts spill out and into the warm glow of the cave.

  “You are the most spectacular sight, Zoya,” Vlunn exhaled before latching on to the breast neglected by Rock. His sharp teeth raked my nipple making me shudder head to toe.

  Panting, I turned onto my back, giving him a better access, and rolled my head in Rock’s lap with a sigh. Rock’s rumbling groan made me aware that it was not only his massive thighs I rubbed my head against. His hot, granite-hard cock prodded against the back of my head.

  With another growl, he lifted me off his lap and pressed my back against his hard chest.

  My nipple popped out of Vlunn’s mouth. His lips travelled down from the valley between my breasts as his hands made the path for them by ripping the fabric of my tunic down the centre, all the way to the hem. He stripped my pants off completely and threw my legs over his shoulders.

  “Up?” He winked at me with a mischievous grin, as if I could comprehend what his question meant, no matter what language he’d have used at this point.

  With his hands under my buttocks, Vlunn lifted me up and dipped his face between my thighs.

  I gasped and arched my back, as he shoved his hard, sleek tongue inside me. I moaned like a woman possessed when it hit just the right spot to ease the aching pressure building inside.

  Rock shifted my upper body higher and palmed my breasts, both of my tortured nipples firmly caught between his rough fingers.

  I writhed, suspended in the air between them—my head on Rock’s shoulder, the heels of my feet digging into Vlunn’s shoulder blades.

  “I could come from just seeing you like this,” Rock rasped in my ear, ho
t and raw.

  “Oh, God . . . Rock.” I threw my arms up behind me, to grab the back of his neck. I needed to hold on to something strong and solid, as Vlunn’s tongue dissolved all sense of reality out of me, and the world swam, melting in swirls around us.

  “Just like this, Zoya, just like this.” Rock’s hands gave one more squeeze, sliding to the tips of my breasts and delivering another stinging pinch to my nipples. Intense arrows of need charged through to my core and collided with the sweet ache built up by Vlunn’s lips and tongue. My inner muscles clenched, and I screamed through the explosive climax that hit me with body-shuddering force.

  Rock’s arms circled around me just under my breasts, and Vlunn’s hands held up my thighs as he nuzzled the last shudders of orgasm out of my quivering body.

  “Just like this,” whispered Rock and gently kissed the side of my neck. Vlunn lifted his face, grinning, and wiggled his eyebrow ridges at me before placing a few soothing kisses on the inside of my thigh.

  Just like this, echoed in my head like a prayer. Please, let it be just like this for the rest of my life, and I promise I would never ask for anything more.

  Chapter 22

  That night was the last time we made love.

  Vlunn woke up in high spirits the next morning, and I secretly hoped that Rock had been wrong all along, that we might still have months, maybe years together. However, when Rock and I returned from the forest, loaded with dug out plants and bushes, we found Vlunn in bed again, unable to get up.

  I didn’t know if he was in any pain—he wouldn’t tell, and he never complained—but he went from having difficulty moving to being unable to move at all.

  From then on, Rock had to carry him out to the garden or to the cold cave when we worked there. We would sit Vlunn down and prop him against a wall or a rock so he could watch us as we worked instead of staying in the cave by himself.